On January 3, 2016, I found out that I was pregnant (although my husband did not believe me at first and went back to sleep).  After a “normal” pregnancy, I l1908338_10204075212706670_3462297616940050102_neft my job.  My baby shower was July 9th.  On July 11th, I left with my husband and family for two weeks in New Hampshire at their lakehouse in the middle of the woods.  July 14th, at just under 32 weeks pregnant, I woke with a start thinking I had food poisoning.  When Rolaids helped and I fell back asleep, the OB said to go to Labor & Delivery if it happened again and to take it easy that day.  By 3:30PM I was having 45 second contractions every three and a half minutes. I convinced myself it couldn’t possibly be contractions.  Who knew they could be so painless? By 5:30 I noticed I had not felt our baby moving since that morning.  We rushed to Speare Memorial Hospital in Plymouth, NH.  After what felt like hours, we were told that our baby was gone.  I had HELLP syndrome, my platelets were crashing, my blood pressure sky high.  The cure? Delivery of our baby. After the hardest 30 hours of my life with my loving husband by my side, I delivered Isaac at 12:06AM on July 16th.  He was 17 inches long, 3 lbs 4 oz and perfect.

IMG_1826Here I will share the letters I am writing to our precious baby boy while we try to accept this loss and find a new future for ourselves.  I will share our story in more depth, and maybe someone will read this, see themselves in our story, and get the appropriate medical attention they need.